In general, America is the winner of the food game. We deep
fry everything, Twinkies, cheese, pasta, Oreo’s, basically everything is better
if deep fried. Our pizza’s are bigger, our cakes have more frosting, and we
make it all over the top. But, lately, I feel like the UK might have us Yanks
beat in the sandwich department.
British people take their sandwiches seriously. They even
have special bread just for making toasted sandwiches, which they call “toasties”.
This special bread is more aerodynamically designed to get maximum toastage
while still maintaining a softer inside to bite into. It is a science, someone
I work with can even tell regular sliced bread from toastie sandwich sliced
bread. Apparently, all breads are not created equal. (This same person can actually smell when I am making toast at work, she
stops by the kitchen to point out how nice it is, toast is like perfume to her)
I’m not joking when I write that the British have made their
sandwich forming into a science form. They have even designed a method of
avoiding sogginess so sandwiches last longer. In the US, if you are making a
standard lunch sandwich, you would have two slices of bread, put on some meat,
then maybe put on some condiments like mayo or mustard. However, by the time
lunch rolls around, you might notice your sandwich has gone soggy! The horror!
(Especially if you use American Wonder
Bread or white bread, which British people think tastes like slices of cake.)
The Brit’s have solved the soggy sandwich problem. I
wondered for over a year why people at work put butter on bread before adding
their sandwich ingredients. I thought they just really like butter. Recently,
my partner explained that it is because by first putting on butter, it creates
a barrier between the bread and other condiments and meats! Thus, your bread
won’t get soggy! My mind was blown. (And yes, I tested it and noticed the
sandwiches are fresher with butter, but I still don’t like the taste enough to
frequently butter my bread.)
Butter aside, the Brits put some other weird stuff on their
sandwiches. They will eat straight up bread and meat, no condiments to add
moisture. Bread and potato chips/crisps sandwiches. Subway here sells Indian
curry meat on sandwiches. Shrimp in mayo is a popular sandwich choice. Sausage
and egg on a baguette roll is a staple of my partner’s diet. But by far one of
the strangest sandwich toppings I’ve seen in England is fish fingers!
Yes, the kids I work with love fish finger sandwiches. By
fish fingers I am referring to the healthy replacement to chicken nuggets our
parents tried to trick us with when we were kids in America. I always ate mine
doused in ketchup to make it palatable. Well here, children and adults love the
stuff. And as a snack or lunch option, they will make a fish finger sammie. (Sammie is British slang for sandwich).
To make a fish finger sandwich you first take two slices of bread (usually
white sliced bread, not necessarily toastie bread) with both slices fully
buttered. Then you put on at least three fish fingers, and smash the slices of
bread together to create a sammie.
I tried it for the first time at work. I enjoy the
occasional fish fingers, and I kind of like bread. So, I thought I would
probably enjoy the two in combination. I was wrong. I did it up right too, I
had the bread slathered in spready butter. The bread combined with the bread
crumbs on the fish fingers was just too much for me. It all blended into a
white mess. Add in the butter and I felt like I was clogging my arteries with
every bite. (This is coming from an
American who once did a shot of garlic butter dip on a dare, and enjoyed it) After
two bites, I took my sammie apart and just ate the fish fingers.
In conclusion, fish finger sammies are definitely a British
tradition I will not be getting on board with. When it comes to sandwiches and
sandwich making, American’s need to bow down to the superior knowledge of the
British. And lastly, if you want to preserve your sammie, add butter!
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